6/25- the night before

still nervous

im not really sure what to do with myself

i dont know who to call
i mean ive called my parents,
and i know im not so up for
hanging out with a lot of people

im not sure who to talk to
i really think i should just...pray

and pray and pray
then pray some more?

that requires isolation tho..but actually
not really

i guess ive juss been on my own most of the day
and part of me really wants to see familiar faces

the other part isnt sure if itd be very good for me to

i dont know if i should be able to talk to some people at this state
i dont want to say things or make unwise decisions
from the sheer 'in the moment' feeling of
'oh im leaving tomorrow'

i think i need to respect the work that God has already done

im a people pleaser

i wanna hang out
i wanna spend time
i want people to realize that they're important
and liked and ...important

and i want to be with them

but i feel really conflicted


its 10:23

is davis over?

is it all just India from here?

at least for two weeks..well
no

itll be longer than two weeks
and itll be longer than from the time i leave to get back

im still carrying some hawaii 'baggage' with me

i need to straighten out my thoughts..
i need to find a way to clear my mind


why cant i think of someone to pray with?